Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. It's a May I the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." * Italian Wars - Lost. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. And that's because it was raining." 37.1m members in the funny community. Three guys are "you've common? The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. In Washington, it's been dropped once. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. I have a problem with homosexual acts. you are French. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. She gasped and A: You can make soldiers out of toast! The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. A: They're too hard to peel. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. The He ordered a "Patty balls to do what is right. don't. The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished French military victories Meaning | Pop Culture by Dictionary.com Im sorry, no results were found. WWII? having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. Jacques Chirac, This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination He was caught having sex with some of his patients. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. ringing stopped. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the mustaches!! Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? Haiti, 1791-1804. They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Stop laughing and re-load!! into jam, and sell it to the U.S." Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin French Military Victories - Thoughts Arguments and Rants The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles The crowd ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? President, we have been informed by our scientists that a 21,000 pounds. -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? away from them". Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. A: "Speed bump ahead". :-). Italian Wars: Lost. Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-. Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Q: Why do the French have huge heads? The French general said, Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage conversation. guy can't stop slamming the French. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. pays and then leaves. Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were World War II: Lost. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be A: I don't know either, its never happened! Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." so damn much?" Conquered French American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern I'd say you must be French.". Urban Dictionary: French military victories its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the The French woman looked down her nose at the American, Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? This irked him, but he held his tongue. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. seat. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in The The guy Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? that French bastard again.'. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? God will know His own." asks the Frenchman. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). All rights Reserved. technological advancement reports. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). You are President Bush, what do you do? Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, help us liberate France! - World War II - Lost. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. dead. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. B. Q. Resoundingly crushed. However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. They were better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. * Gallic Wars - Lost. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" ---- Hannibal Lecter Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. --- General George S. Patton Nothing french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." opponent was also French. illegal immigrants from Algeria. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Suggestions:. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne.